I’m not dead and here’s why I haven’t been posting.
I’ve been depressed for a rather long time, I’ve probably had anxiety problems since middle school. I’ve never really talked about it, it’s hard to admit you have a problem when everyone around you seems so damn competent all the time. It’s my fault in a way I like competent people, smart people, I like people striving to be the best. I want to be the best, probably why I’m so critical of myself all the time.
I reached a point in college where I couldn’t get out of bed except to eat, shower, and go to class. It wasn’t sustainable and I broke down. This was just before I started writing, it helped me focus on things again. I didn’t end up getting any real help just a change in scenery which was temporary at best. It wasn’t sustainable and my writing schedule suffered.
Now I’m in a new place, I have an internship opportunity (not in a field you’d guess but if you do I’ll name a side character after you), and I’m going to start seeing a counselor.
I’m back, I’m going to post the first chapter of Reaper on the 1st. I don’t even have a proper synopsis for it and I scrapped the first draft so I have no buffer. Fuck it I doing it anyways I need the scheduled. Since my life is about to get a lot more busy I’m only going to do one update a week for the time being.
The Defection rewrite made it about 1/3 of the way before I stalled so I’m going to start working on that again [3 months max], and get a pretty cover made.
I’ve already redone the site a bit I probably won’t do much more but I will go through the backlog of un-moderated comments and approve them [I was feeling guilty and haven’t been checking them. I have the same problem with e-mail and texts].
So here’s to being better than I was. How are you all (the few of you who get updates or still check) doing?