Prysim was rather annoyed. She had finished Keanan’s body; all of the spells were in place, his mind she had integrated into the main core. All she needed was the central matrix to finish initializing and come online. It would take several more hours just to do its thing, and then several more for the diagnostics to finish. There was no way she would allow Keanan to end up with a flawed body.
She couldn’t do any of that, however. The damned peace talks had started eight minutes ago, so she had to start getting ready for them. It had seemed like a good idea back when it was presented, a hilarious one but now she was busy and didn’t want to go. She was tempted to just not go and let villains take potshots at the fairies in hopes of winning her favor, but Owl might take that personally.
So she had to get ready; most girls would have to put on makeup or pick a dress. Prysim had to decide on which set of armor, she had options. She couldn’t bring anything new, both Owl and Uriel could get too much from a new suit. None of her lower profile armors had the level of firepower necessary. The big suits were Goliath class, vaguely human with melee weapons, and fortress class they flew and used lots of range weapons.
The fortress suits could start a war all on their own, and only got used when she was antagonizing countries. So she decided on one of her old favorites of the Goliath class. It stood six meters tall and was big enough for her to sit inside the chest cavity. The media had called it rust colored; it wasn’t it was the color of dried blood. For all of the genius engineering that went into it, the thing looked crude. The main weapon was it’s left arm; that was pile driver.
Properly attired in a suit of steel death, Prysim finally checked the email telling her where the talks were going to happen. Turns out it was going to be in a corn field in the middle of fucking nowhere, also known as Kansas.
Teleporting in, Owl, Blackbird, Uriel, and Ares were all waiting, and probably had been for some time. Blackbird was a fair-skinned man of average height with a slight tan and no notable characteristics. He wore a black suit of a minimalistic style, and a real tie not a clip-on, a sign he was tougher than his outfit. He was not tougher than a pile-driver as it hit him in the gut.
Blackbird’s entire midsection was reduced to a fine gravy like substance, and since Prysim got the angle right it covered Uriel, and some of the splashes got Ares. Uriel said something rude, and Blackbird just adjusted his tie unharmed. If his immortality worked the way Prysim thought it did she could do that all day, and not even inconvenience him.
“Sorry I’m late, but I was taking the most amazing shit and didn’t want to rush it,” Prysim said.
“You are as much of a cunt as Owl indicated,” Blackbird said as he moved to stand behind Owl.
“I try my best tweety, now I believe we’re here to talk about why I shouldn’t light Mag Mell on fire and let it burn for the next hundred years,” Prysim said. “Because that sounds like a lot of fun.”
“The very idea gets Bluebird wet, so wet she tries it regularly. Mag Mell is very well fireproofed at this point.” Owl said, “if you did manage it she would spend the next hundred years jacking it over the smoldering ruins.”
“Point to you, that image is way too disturbing. I could still sink that island of yours beneath the sea, or crash it into something important.” Prysim said.
“But if you did that I would be forced to tell your mommy on you,” Owl said.
“Do you think she’ll spank me?” Prysim asked. “Should I wear my school uniform with the short skirt?”
“Only if you want me to put you over my knee, flip up your skirt and have my way with your ass,” Owl answered.
“What the hell is wrong with you two?” Ares shouted. He had been growing increasingly frustrated and a shade of red, as the two of them talked.
“We’re insane,” Prysim, Owl, and Uriel answered in unison.
This lead to a moment of silence as Owl and Prysim focused their attention on Uriel. Ares gave her a glare. “Oh come on, I’m just as bad as you two and we all know it.” She said, then turned to Ares “Sorry honey, it was just a perfect setup.”
“You know I could have been a farmer?” Ares asked. “I never would have had to deal with any of this crap.”
“We know,” Uriel, Prysim, and Owl said in unison. This time giving each other confused looks.
Prysim was the one to break the resulting silence. “Where were we?”
“We were getting the threats out of the way, although they were getting sexual and vaguely incestuous. I know that is a turn on for you, but I’m happy moving on to the business at hand.” Owl answered.
“I’m not into incest,” Prysim said not at all defensively, she the went on to clarify. “At least not outside of abstract theoretical scenarios, and that time I tried to clone myself, and that experiment with the shapeshifter.” She trailed off. “You know what, yeah let’s move on.”
“Right, we’re here to discuss the growing hostilities between Mag Mell and the villain community,” Ares said. “Also we’re not certain the school uniform thing was a joke. Prysim if you could stop going to school we would appreciate it.”
“If I stopped going to school what would I do with myself during the day? Make doomsday machines? I already have too many of those; my basement is full.” Prysim asked.
“You could end world hunger,” Ares said.
“I did; it wasn’t economically viable, and the company went bankrupt. That’s the point where I stopped trying to save the world and went villain.” Prysim answered.
Ares didn’t quite know what to say, his face showing equal parts bafflement, and an urge to kill. Uriel decided to step in and be the voice of reason. “What can we do to get you two to back down?”
“Say please,” Owl and Prysim said simultaneously, again. Ares was beginning to suspect they were doing it on purpose.
“What?” He asked.
“Owl tries to kill me all the time; I do it slightly less frequently since I’m not willing to go to Mag Mell,” Prysim said.
“Invitation is always open.”
“Fuck you Owl. Anyways the only thing that made this attempt different is you finding out about it. It was probably your bitch of a daughter that let it slip; that girl is in need of a spanking. So say please, grovel a little bit, and I won’t blow Mag Mell out of the sky while it’s flying over a major population center.” Prysim said. “Besides I’ve got better things to do with my time, I’ve got this new project and it’s beautiful.”
Ares groaned and sat down on one of the chairs that had until now had not been used. “I fucking hate the two of you so much right now. You make me want to commit murder.”
“I could give you a free shot at Blackbird if you want.” Prysim offered.
“No thank you, and could you please both stand down and ask you allies to do the same.”
“Well he did say please, and that’s good enough for me,” Owl said. Blackbird put his hand on her shoulder, and a pillar of flame rose from the ground to engulf the both. When it died down there was no trace of the two fairies, but Prysim was sure for a moment she had seen an extra set of eyes in the fire.
“It’s good enough for me too, but I have a reputation and all that. So I’m going to try and kill you now.” Prysim said as she powered up the combat functions of her suit.
Ares grinned. “Really, you’re not going to teleport away the minute things look bad right?”
“Of course not, that would be cowardly. Before I forget, it promised this to your husband.” Prysim threw a USB drive at Uriel and charged Ares before it reached its destination.
An hour and a half later Prysim was being cut out of her very damaged suit of power armor by three robots made for just that task. She received a phone call from her mother, in the background she could hear the sound of things breaking.
“How’d the meeting go?”
“Very well,” Sophia said. “Apparently the whole thing was something of a joke that got out of hand.”
“I could have told you that, but by the time I found out things had spread too far,” Alecia said.
“You couldn’t have warned us?”
“If I had Prysim wouldn’t have had as much fun, so she would go looking for it in other places,” Alecia explained.
“Fair enough.” Sophia acknowledged “but she did leave behind a rather disturbing video.”
“I know, she sent me a copy. It was hot.”
“Alecia Marsh, that’s disgusting.”
“Sorry, mom. Why’s dad breaking stuff?”
“He was fighting Prysim, but she teleported out the moment things started looking bad for her.”